To say that it’s been tough is both underwhelming and overwhelming at the same time. Every mental roadblock and bump I’ve faced has been a war between being grateful and accepting my reality. My anxiety is at an all-time high with many contributing factors. No employment and feeling completely hopeless have sent me into a tailspin of scenarios playing in my head.
As an introvert, it would be easy to say that I’ve been okay under quarantine. I enjoy staying at home and being left to my devices. But I do crave going out because being home for too long has proven to be debilitating in its own way.
Another thing I’m grateful is that people (aka everyone who has undermined my working from home) are coming to a realization that you can work from home and it’s not as easy as you think. Yes, you get to be home and skip a lot of common routines. But I hope people realize that its challenges lie internally especially in areas of self-motivation and being your own push. Not that one is better than the other. But being a home worker comes with its own sets of stereotypes that I hope people realize are not true.
This circuit breaker definitely has a lot of ups and downs. Since I’m used to be keeping busy at home, I’ve nailed down my daily routine with room to allow myself to breathe. Besides working out again and pushing myself to write for the sake of writing (like now), I found my love of cooking (more importantly the Bon Appétit Youtube channel) and also, I’ve unplugged myself from social media. Of course, these moments are the ups.
Get to know your Screen Time function!
Don’t worry I’ve had my biggest share of downs the last couple of months which led me to my biggest “win”. I’ve deleted social media. I’ve always been on and off social media. Because it’s just that great, isn’t it? I love the creativity and beauty that it exposes me to. But it also heavily exposes my mind to self-hatred and anxiety. I honestly didn’t plan my “sober” period.
Everyone knows the upside of no social media. You become present in reality and you actually have time to get real stuff done. I loved that I’ve picked up a reading habit and have dived into recipe research. I've started daily Quran and tafsir reading. There’s just so much you could do.
It started with limiting screen time but it’s hard to keep myself from extending those times. So, I decided to cut off totally. I don’t deny that I have enjoyed disconnecting myself from people. I figured that those who matter will connect with me in other ways like texting which I’ve come to realize I dread. This is why I’ve come to love my Screen Time function on my phone. So, don’t bother waiting for a reply from me past 9.30 pm. My phone is locked and I’m good with it. I think I’m beginning to realize that all that is unnecessary to my mind. Those who really need me (which is none) will find a way to contact me if needed. What I love about this notion is giving yourself importance. I think I’ve spent a lot of time chasing people and their love. If you want my time, earn it.