Here It Comes Again

Here it comes again
Jumping from behind
A surprise I never see coming
It knocks me off my feet
And I lay there
with the weight of the world on my chest

It clouds my mind
Fills it with thoughts
And sadness
It never stops
Even when I try to snap out of it

It tightens the noose around my neck
I try to breathe but my lungs expand with emptiness
I wonder if this is the time
That I’m no longer able to hang on

I switch on the shower
Masking my tears
Muffling the sound of myself
Anger and sadness continues to wash over me
Till I don’t recognize the person I am in front of my mirror

What a terrible person I am
That God never lets me feel the warmth of sunshine
Yet fills me with fires of envy and pain
I must be unworthy of happiness and love
For all the flaws that I’ve shown

Then I try
I try to stop my heart from beating
But I’m just as weak as my mind
There’s nothing I can do
But absorb all my pain and emotion
Bottle it up again
Dry myself of my tears
And pretend to continue my life
But already dead on the inside

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